why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
