Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize