Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
