It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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