Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize