So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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