we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
