you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
