And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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