Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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