We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Randomize
