Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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