I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
