By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
