is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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