The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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