No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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