gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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