If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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