kristin has been a bad kristin
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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