"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
