We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
