If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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