So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
