I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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