His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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