I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
