I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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