oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
how drunk are you?
Several
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
