i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
