wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
