I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize