My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
