the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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