Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
