Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
