first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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