So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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