chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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