it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
