Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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