Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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