I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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