I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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