Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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