Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
