FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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