i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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