And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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