I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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