I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
you mean i was at the winter classic?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
