if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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