i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
