Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
