i just google imaged poop.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
