Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize