yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
